How To Get Out of Negative Thought Patterns
PC: Pinterest
I have been going. through. it.
My mind has been like a hamster’s wheel, repeatedly circulating through negative thoughts. One day it’s about work, another about my partner, then about my life seemingly not going anywhere. Which is odd, truly, because when I journal, all I feel is gratitude for the multitude of blessings in my life. And it’s true, there are sooooo many blessings in my life. I have work, to start, and I have a loving partner, to continue. So why does my brain choose the one thing that’s slightly off and fixate on it rather than shed light on all the love and success there is? It doesn’t just remind me of something unhappy—it obsesses over it, to the point I’m almost scared of my own thoughts.
I used to not be like this, I realized. I was always known as the uppidy happy girl. The uber-positive child. The one who bounced around with no care in the world. I was truly a happy soul back then. So what changed? I can blame my environment, to a degree. But it really comes down to one main thing: I forgot I have full control of what I allow to pass through my brain.
This past week I caught pneumonia. As if that wasn’t annoying enough, I threw out my back from excessive coughing, making it near-impossible to stand up. Each cough felt like a fresh knife-stab to my lower back. I couldn’t even sit upright in bed to watch Netflix, so while I was feeling sorry for myself I stared into my ceiling and began to meditate. Once in my zen mode, here’s what I learned about getting out of negative thought patterns:
1. Stop Thinking About External Forces Altogether
Some things are out of our control, so why do we let them control our moods? Who you work with and even the job you’re in… it’s just a job. It’s not a reflection of you — and I say this as someone who even likes their job. Friends who have wronged you or left you… that’s also on them, not you (unless you did something, then go apologize). Stop thinking about what other people are doing, and do step two instead:
2. Think About All The Things You Can Control
Take your hands out of situations you can’t control and bring them back to your center: your love. When you find yourself thinking negatively about x, y, and z, make the conscious effort to stop and switch into thoughts about everything you love about yourself. It can be something as small as “I love my hair” or as big as “I really worked hard on that project the other day, I’m proud of that” (even if it may not have given you the results you had hoped for). I think about how amazing my best friend in Japan is, how loved I am by my family, or how content I am with my current skincare routine.
3. Start Visualizing Your Highest Self
One big difference between young me and current me is that I’ve stopped visualizing my future. I waste so much brain power on all the negative things happening when I could be having fun seeing my future self in all the situations I want to end up in. I envision everything from what I’m wearing on that specific occasion to who is surrounding me, what my title is, how much money is in my bank account, and where I’m living. I picture myself successful and smiling. Before I know it, I’m skipping down the street rather than sulking through it.
4. Keep Off Social Media
God this is a hard one, but that doom-scrolling is seriously rotting your mind. I fall victim to it far too often, and it ends up in the same zombie-like mindset every time. Significantly reducing the amount of times I pick up my phone has a direct correlation to how good I feel throughout the day. If you want to ease out of it, I’ve swapped my Instagram icon-location with my Pinterest one. At least the latter app provides me with some inspiration for my blog, and thus, feels more positively productive.
5. Attempt Easy Breathing Exercises
I always thought I needed to carve out 15 minutes to meditate in order to have anything effective. That’s not true at all. Before I sleep — while I’m already tucked in with my eyes closed — I’ve started a simple breathing exercise that instantly calms my heart rate and brings blissful peace to my mind. I just take deep breaths through the nose and exhale through the mouth. I can literally feel the oxygen coming into my brain. Instead of attempting to shut out all thoughts together (although you can do that too), I go somewhere I like in my brain. I might recall my trip to Japan and revisit the memories I made, or I think about a happy childhood memory. Before I know it, I’m fast asleep.
